The Zeroth Law of Cutie-Dynamics

The Zeroth Law of Cutie-Dynamics states that, for 3 objects A, B, and C, if A and B are both in cutie-equilibrium with C then A and B are in cutie-equilibrium with each other.

Applications of the Zeroth Law of Cutie-Dynamics

1) Measurement of Cuteness

To measure the cuteness of any object (e.g. a person or animal). The empirical nature of this measurement is such that there can be no universal standard for cuteness. The yardstick by which one measures cuteness is derived from one's experiences, i.e. the object to be measured is compared against objects that one has encountered before. Which means my stick can be longer than yours.

The nature of objects compared need not be similar, for example, comparing a human to an Eeyore is perfectly acceptable although the human is likely to come up short.

2) Oblique Compliment/Insult

The Zeroth Law may be applied in (sort of) everyday situations as part of a "flanking approach" to compliment or insult. It would be best to illustrate this application with an example:

"Oh! Look at that baby! She's so cute!!! =) Know what? She looks just like you."
- excerpt from conversation overheard on bus.

This author almost puked. However, credit must be given for the sound application of a scientific principle. It was also noted that the response to the compliment was definitely positive.

In order to apply the Zeroth Law in an insult, simply replace "that baby" with something else in the above example. Be creative.